Anyway, it turns out the cam and rockers were fried. Missing .100 off the tops of the lobes, scored, ugly.
After flipping through my manual, it said to swap the cam you pretty much have to tear off the whole top end unless you have the special GM tool which they make no other mention of and dive into the teardown instead.
I decided that for one I didn’t feel like taking the head off since I just did that with the head gasket on the other sunbird and for two the chances of finding said special tool were probably about zero… for three the tool would probably cost more than I want to spend anyway.
So I decided I was going to make my own tool. Anyway, it worked well and it’s back on the road and the valves are actually opening now! The trickiest part was probably sneaking the rockers in and out around the cam (the journals hit the rockers if you try to take the cam out with them installed.)